“I feel like I’m not getting anything done when I’m doing mindfulness.” This was a recent comment from a client who had tried mindfulness, and I have to say it cracked me up. No, it doesn’t look like you’re getting anything done, which, in a weird way, is the point. Imagine… the Earth is continuing to orbit the sun, turning on its axis, and you are doing nothing! Maybe you begin to rationalize why you don’t have time for mindfulness exercises, why you need to keep busy and get things done. And then comes the inner critic: How can you just sit there like that? What makes you think you have time to practice mindfulness when everyone else is BUSY?
This is not the easiest time to remember your therapist saying “Trust the process and stick with it. It will click eventually, at which point you should be able to think more clearly, find more peace in your days, and notice events where you surprise yourself by showing up so full of grace, purpose, and wisdom.”
Change is hard!! However, sometimes it can help to ask yourself, “Do I want to continue on the trajectory on which I am headed?”
Ideally, mindfulness become a way of life, but involves breaking old habits and forming new ones, as with nutrition and exercise. In the case of mindfulness, we’re trying to “get in underneath” processes which have become automatic, including the habitual thought that we must stay busy at all times.
Another potential derailment comes when we think we have to have our mind clear of all thoughts. It can help to note that mindfulness practice looks different for each person, but the key is awareness: If you become aware of your mind wandering to your to-do list, for example, this is ok. Simply noticing without judgement that your mind wandered is beneficial.
At this point, it is helpful to bring your attention back to your intention for the day. An intention can be whatever you would like to work on, such as:
I release that which is not in my control, and I trust in new possibilities.
I am grateful for my life and the gifts I have been blessed with.
I have inner wisdom and strength.
I accept myself and others with compassion and understanding.
I organize my days with joy and follow through.
Mindfulness trains your brain to slow things down and to be more present in the moment. This is the opposite of our go-go-go training, which says do, get things done, do some more! One of these paths leads to burnout, and one leads to better relationships. So… do you exist to be a machine, or a human being?
Trust the process. At the very least, hard-working you deserves about ten minutes each morning to drink a cup of coffee or tea… mindfully.
Anxiety, the illness of our time, comes primarily from our inability to live in the present moment. Thich Nhat Hanh